Review – Immortals

                     Rating = ★ ½    Tagline = Pass

Tarsem Singh stated that he is a visual guy and gives everything he has into them. Singh also said the story and script is a side note in his mind. I respect that he flat out said that (most people who do that don’t admit it, Micheal Bay I am looking at you). His direction is only great when it comes to the visual stuff, and he does an excellent job in that aspect. When there is a quiet part you he direction drops and you just know he is waiting until it comes to a scene where he can be in his naturel element (which is around 80% of the movie). In the end, Singh’s direction left me feeling like I was watching an MTV video version of a movie – all style over substance. This can work to a certain point, but here I felt like I was being hit over the head with it over and over again. I don’t hate this directer. He should either just do visuals in movies or stick to commericals and music videos.

 The mean and bloodthirsty King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) and his murderous Heraklion army are storming across Greece in search of this long lost bow of Epirus. This bow is invincible, and with it the king will be able to overthrow the Gods of Olympus and become the masters of the world. Hyperion and his army are destroying everything in their wake, and it seems that nothing will stop this king from completing what he wants. As the village after village is taken out, a stonemason named Theseus (Henry Cavill) vows to avenge the death of his mother (this happened in one of Hyperion’s raids). When Theseus meets an Oracle, Phaedra (Freida Pinto), her vision is that he is the key to stopping this mayhem. Theseus then assembles a small band of followers and faces his destiny in a last battle to save humanity.

 The Only thing that is great or above bad in Immortals is the visuals. It is amazing to look at for certain. This is the only thing that kept me from not falling asleep. There was always something nice to look at on screen. I mean the costumes, sound, and visual type awards were at Oscar standers. Still, if Singh cared about other things too then he would have a good movie on his hands. If you strip away the look of this movie you will see a below mediocre movie with really no redeeming qualities. Even when I was loving the visuals, I still couldn’t help and notice that there was nothing else worth watching. I was liking was I was looking at on the surface, but right below I couldn’t care about anything. Everytime I would admire the visuals, soon I would start to notice other things that would bother me. This inconvenince didn’t help my experience with this movie.

Battles are good to look at, but what’s underneath is a different story.

 I hate to gripe about the script, but I have too. Even with the great visuals it can’t take away how awful the story is. It is a clichéd story that doesn’t do anything good. Many movies have been clichéd and still worked. They don’t have to have the best dialog in the world, but at least enough for it to be average.  You have seen this story done before a lot better than this. I could never get involved because there was nothing to get involved in. One thing that could have helped this problem is good well developed characters. Unfortunately this fails as well, and bad. The characters aren’t fleshed out so we don’t grow to like or care about any of them. I actually wanted the characters to all die at one point just so the movie would finally end. This is one of the worst scripts I have heard in some time. Some lines were truly painful to listen too, while the rest were mediocre.

 You can never say the acting is bad, but you can say it’s bland. Henry Cavill is going to play superman in the new superman remake. Well I know he can handle the fight scenes. At the same time I am not sold on his acting in the least. He puts no emotion or feeling into anything. Cavill is just like a stick figure through the whole movie. I hope this was just because there was no material to work with or this superman remake is already off to a bad start. Mickey Rourke is playing the same character he played in Iron Man 2, and like in that movie I can hardly understand him. It is worse here because whenever he is on screen he is eating something. I just wanted to scream stop eating already! He can seem intimidating, but with nothing to work with and him hardly understandable he doesn’t amount to anything as a character. Freida Pinto can act well. Here she is completely wasted.  I said Cavill was like a stick figure throughout, well that can be said about the entire cast. Perhaps there was no opportunity for acting beyond the level that was delivered though.

 At 1 hour and 50 minutes, Immortals is still too long. If it was an hour and 30 minutes, had a so so script, a little acting work, then this would have been a B movie at it’s best (the action scenes where so good to look at). It’s really a shame that a movie that looks this good is so bad. This is by far one of the best looking movies I have ever seen. At the same time though it is one of the worst movies I have seen so far this year. I wanted to just enjoy it on the visual aspect level alone. In the end though, I just couldn’t do that.  This movie is like a desk with a bad stain on it. You can make the rest of it super fancy and distract everyone for a bit. But in the end you will notice it and you won’t be too pleased about it.

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12 thoughts on “Review – Immortals

    • “Mirror Mirror” really looks bad, like “Jack and Jill” bad. If he just did the visuals, and got a good screenwriter, then he would have great movies on hands.

  1. Oh come now. It’s not that bad. True Immortals had a weak story, but the visuals were incredible. If you’re just looking for a fun a mythological fantasy in the classic tradition of stories like Jason and the Argonauts or 1981’s Clash of the Titans, this will do nicely. There’s a little bit of Fellini’s Satyricon in there too.

    • I beg to differ, that is what I thought when you gave “Submarine” such a low score. I like some movies like this, but not this one. If there were average visuals, than the movie would have been so much worse. No one would have liked it. So yes, it is that bad. It’s empty, generic, predictable. I liked “300”, but not this at all.

  2. It’s was probably the second-best looking film of 2011 (number one was Tree of Life…of course) and the action is awesome and in-you-face which is something I always like. The story dragged on a bit and I couldn’t help but think that if the writing was a tweaked a little better, this would have definitely been a very solid film. Instead it was just fun and pretty to look at. Good review Alec.

  3. My god, thank you for giving this movie a crappy review. I was watching this movie with a bunch of friends and they all loved it and I had to keep my mouth shut and suffer in silence. I love a good swords-and-sandals epic, I even loved 300 in a guilty pleasure sort of way, but 300 had a simple yet straightforward storyline which didn’t get in the way of it’s true purpose, which Immortal’s storyline drags the whole movie down with it.

    Anyways, great review, I actually just started my own movie review blog and I’d love some feedback from fellow bloggers like yourself. Here’s the link if you’re interested

    http://rorschachreviews.com/2012/06/11/prometheus-review/

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